Four weeks ago today, January 1, 2022, began the same way each of the previous eighteen days began. My alarm went off at 6 AM and I stumbled down to the kitchen to make breakfast. I would then get dressed and head to the hospital for visiting hours beginning at 8 AM. My Sweet Husband was in ICU, and I wanted to spend every moment possible with him.
As I was making oatmeal, my phone rang. I looked at the number and it was the hospital. Panic hit. It took every ounce of courage I had to answer. I asked God to give me strength and said hello. The voice on the other end began, “Cindy, this is Dr. P. Kevin had a rough night, and he is actively dying. You need to get to the hospital as soon as possible.”
I rushed upstairs, got dressed, called our girls and headed to the hospital, grateful that we lived only five minutes away.
The next three hours were the most heartbreaking, yet precious moments I have experienced. Sweet Husband was at peace, and it was such an honor to hold his hand as he was ushered into Heaven. We cried and sat by his bed in stunned disbelief. We were experiencing such grief and pain, yet unbelievable peace. A calm assurance that God was with us permeated the room in a tangible way.
We had prayed fervently that God would heal my Sweet Husband, and many of you prayed with us. There was an entire army of intercessors praying for his healing. Yet, we had to say goodbye, for now.
As we walked out of his hospital room for the last time, I realized, God did not answer our prayers in the way we wanted, but He DID answer our prayers. My Sweet Husband was no longer struggling. He was breathing Heavenly air, completely healed and with Jesus.
This has been the hardest thing my family and I have experienced, yet our Heavenly Father has shown us over and over that he is right beside us and carrying us, when necessary, as we walk this unexpected and most difficult path. We are heartbroken, but at peace.
The Bible tells us in Job 14:5, A person’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.
I may never understand why my vivacious, fun loving, always healthy Sweet Husband went to Heaven at age 62, but as a friend told me, when you cannot see God’s hand, trust His heart. Our God is good and even though we do not understand, we trust Him, and our faith remains strong.
Psalm 34:18-19 tells us, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue every time.
My family and I can say with confidence this is true. The Lord has been and continues to be close to us. We are certainly surrounded by his love and peace and that is what gets us through each day. Even in the middle of our heartbreak, we proclaim, It is well with my soul.
The Miller family is not the only family traveling a difficult and heartbreaking road. Life is tough right now for many people, for so many reasons. If you or someone you love is struggling, know that God will give you the same strength and peace he has given to us, if you ask him. Pour out your heart to him, tell him how you feel and what you need. He loves you and will help you.
The song below sums up my thoughts. I hope you enjoy it.