Today is August 1.
It is 2:12 AM and I cannot sleep.
My mind is spinning, and my heart is grateful, thinking about the last seven months, what I have experienced, what I have learned and what is next.
Please allow me to share my thoughts with you.
What I have experienced—
Seven months ago today, my Sweet Husband went to Heaven. It was unexpected and absolutely the most difficult thing my family and I have experienced. We, along with an army of others, prayed fervently that God would heal my Sweet Husband and God answered that prayer. Not in the way we wanted, but he did answer our prayer for healing. Today Sweet Husband is in Heaven, healed, whole and with Jesus. I miss him terribly, but my family and I talk often about how we would rather have him in Heaven healed, than struggling here. We are grateful God allowed him to live fully and happily until thirty days before he went to Heaven.
What I have learned—
>First and foremost, I have learned in a tangible way that God is close to the broken-hearted.
Psalm 35:18 tells us,
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
My heart was broken on January 1, 2022, but even in that hospital room as our Sweet Husband, dad, papa, son and brother left this earthly life, our family sensed God was right there with us. He is still walking with us and carries us, when necessary. We are grateful for his care, love, protection and provision.
>God gives us what we need when we need it. When I was growing up, a dear friend of my parents would often sing the old hymn in church that says:
“He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater. He sendeth more strength when the labors increase. To added afflictions, He addeth His mercy. To multiplied trials, his multiplied peace.”
Often, during these past seven months, I have closed my eyes and could hear Ken Smith singing this song. I can tell you without hesitation, this is true, and I am grateful for God’s strength and peace.
>Family and friends are so important. My amazing kids, K, M and M, as well as our Grand blessings 1,2 and 3 and I have been loved and supported by so many as we grieve and adjust to life without husband, dad, dad-in-law, and papa. We are grateful for all of you who have cared so well for us.
>We can hold on to our love and memories of this amazing man and keep moving forward. He was joyful and full of life, and we will continue to share his stories and ask you to do the same. We want to talk about him and remember. Tears might flow, but that is ok. We are grateful to have had him in our lives and want to keep his memory alive.
>What is next—
*We will continue to move forward and trust God to lead us.
*I have stepped back from my writing, during these past seven months but sense it is time to pick up the pen once more. So, this is my first attempt at sharing my thoughts and putting on my writer’s hat again.
*Zechariah Park—exciting things are happening! Stay tuned. The ZP team has expanded, and I am so grateful! We have an enlarged vision for helping the next generation hide God’s word in their hearts and are creating fun ways for families to do just that. We will keep you posted.
Sweet Husband bought a large sign for my office about a year ago that says:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Thank you, Sweet Husband, for this reminder that as I navigate this new life, there is no reason to be afraid. God is with me. I will be strong and courageous.
I love you and will see you again!